well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
