i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
