i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
