two words: eviction party
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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