just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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