Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
