Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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