i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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