it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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