I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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