if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Can you bring me the toilet please
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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