You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
