were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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