I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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