I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
