Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
