Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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