he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
