belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
