You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
