Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
