i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
