watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
