yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
