Me. At least after what I've been through.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
