She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
