She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
