Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
