Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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