am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
