I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
