I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
