and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
