Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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