just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize