I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
