Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
