Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
