Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
