haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
