That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
