Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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