so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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