i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
