You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
