no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
