So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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