I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
