I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
