Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
