Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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