are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
