Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
