Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
