I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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