So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
