She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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