I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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