it's like iHOP with fire
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
