If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
