Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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