U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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