Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
