Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
