We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You need a sexual gate keeper
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
