I love black thongs
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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