Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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