soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
