Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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