i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
