what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
