This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
