no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
